Tomorrow will live in infamy

Oh man, it’s going to be great.

Internet has been running slow. Plus, I have a trojan called Vundo that won’t go away. I’ll be in New Jersey (eww!) and Long Island for business in the next three days so no postings until Saturday night.

Great band names for the unfortunate

I don’t have a lick of talent. I’m too embarrassed to even sing in the shower. But if I had, my band probably wouldn’t be called any of these:

• Smashing Vinyl
• The Whale’s Whole
• 10 Percent Satisfaction Guaranteed
• The Mavericks
• The Grump*
• Kingston Corners Near Burger King
• Hard-to-Pronounce Polish Surnames
• Snot Rockets
• Minor Civil Arrest
• Zombie Survival
• The Pennamites
• Captain Lazarus
• It’s a Simpsons Reference!
• Ananas
• The Heynas
• The Hyphens

* – Admission: 18 and over, please.

It’s about time Mother Nature got even with So. Cal.

Obligatory Super Bowl attracts “circuit girls” story.

Best criminal ever. (Courtesy of Allentown).

Hillary looks like Beetlejuice. Scary.

2008 seems like it’s going to be the year of movie-star-gone-indie. I’m very excited about Scarlett Johannson album of Tom Waits covers and Zooey Deschanel’s (Elf, Live Free or Die Hard) album as She and Him. (Listen to She and Him’s KCRW set at The Playlist.)

(Updated “Crap I like)

Jamma on the one, jamma on the one

I’ve been teetering between whom I am backing for president in November. I’ve been a Obama supporter for some time. I debated voting for Edwards but he hasn’t oohed or ahhed me at all. Maybe that’s why populists never get voted: they’re too ordinary.

Here are my rankings for both the Democrats and the Republicans as the primaries take a turn towards Super Boozeday.

Democrats:

1. Barack Obama: I should like him just for his inspiring oratories. They are some of the best speeches I’ve ever heard. On the issues, I agree with him the most on the issues. I feel his health-care solution is the only one on the table that’s actually feasible. He may not be as experienced, but some of the worst presidents in our country’s history (e.g., Eisenhower, G. Bush Sr., Grant, Buchanon) while some of our best had very little experience at all (e.g., Lincoln). I’ve always thought politics is more about leadership than experience. Experience is something you put in your cabinet.
2. John Edwards: Why does it always seem like he’s running for vice president? Many Americans are wondering whether or not the country is ready to have a woman president. A poor showing by Edwards in South Carolina would surely kill the feminism movement.
3. Hillary Clinton: Let me say this. Her health-care plan will either never happen or it will completely fuck up the economy. Secondly, she’s as polarized and divisive as George W. Bush is. She’s basically the leftist version of our current president. Thirdly, I can assure you that, if president, her foreign affairs will be terrible if not nonexistent — which is particularly disheartening since Al-Quada is growing exponentially in Afghanistan. Also, is she not the most pessimistic candidate you’ve ever seen? (Mitt Romney is a close second).

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car.
The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t.
The aged cow was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow.
She stayed in the car making phone calls.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray.
He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
“What happened to you,” asked Hillary?
“Well,” the driver replied, “the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.” “My God, what did you tell them?” asked Hillary.
The driver replied, “I just stepped inside the door and said, ‘I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow.’ The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it.”

Republicans:

1. John McCain: Should be 10x more efficient as president than Bush, Hillary or Clinton. Why? No more polarization. This means that C-Span will feature congressional dialogue that doesn’t sound like how high school girls talk about each other. Honestly, Congress’ he-said/she-said b.s. is like watching a couple of retards hump a doorknob. I think McCain will actually get things done and take action, rather than just complain about everything. My friend Mark says that he is voting for McCain because he “is going to bring the glory of the Nixon years back to the Republican party, before the neocons took over.” I’m not so sure how much I agree with that but I think, if elected, he’d put a hinder on the wave of neoconservatism that the rest of us despise.
2. Ron Paul: Only because I’d like to see what would actually happen.
3. Mike Huckabee: Because the other two blow?
4. Mitt Romney: Economically speaking, he’s a sound candidate. But he did nothing in Massachusetts, so why now?
5. Rudy: I don’t trust the man. But my contempt for Guliani is nowhere near the New York Times.

As a New York-based paper, are we not backing Rudolph Giuliani? Why not choose the man we endorsed for re-election in 1997 after a first term in which he showed that a dirty, dangerous, supposedly ungovernable city could become clean, safe and orderly? What about the man who stood fast on Sept. 11, when others, including President Bush, went AWOL?That man is not running for president.

The real Mr. Giuliani, whom many New Yorkers came to know and mistrust, is a narrow, obsessively secretive, vindictive man who saw no need to limit police power. Racial polarization was as much a legacy of his tenure as the rebirth of Times Square.

Mr. Giuliani’s arrogance and bad judgment are breathtaking. When he claims fiscal prudence, we remember how he ran through surpluses without a thought to the inevitable downturn and bequeathed huge deficits to his successor. He fired Police Commissioner William Bratton, the architect of the drop in crime, because he couldn’t share the limelight. He later gave the job to Bernard Kerik, who has now been indicted on fraud and corruption charges.

The Rudolph Giuliani of 2008 first shamelessly turned the horror of 9/11 into a lucrative business, with a secret client list, then exploited his city’s and the country’s nightmare to promote his presidential campaign.

Damn New York Times.

I read this crap column from Fox News. I loved reading the reader comments. This one perfectly displays what’s wrong with the “core” of the party.

If McCain wins this nomination I’m going to sit this election out and encourage every republican I know to send a clear message to the republican party – we will not tolerate a candidate who claims to be a conservative and in turn votes with the democrats. “Fiscal conservative” and “strong on defence” is simply not enough. The republican umbrela includes those things as well as gun rights, right to life, deregulation, less governement, personal responsibility. In fact if McCain wins, perhaps the stronger message would be a vote for Hillary.

The reason I was so upset was I thought I had my wallet stolen. Two days later, I find my brown wallet in a brown duffel bag of mine. I checked that bag four times. I’m a genius.

I also lost half of the CDs I own. Not sure how but they probably fell out of my backpack somewhere in Baltimore. This led me to finally cave in and buy an iPod. Well, I’m not a fan of Steve Jobs and I like Microsoft because of its philanthropy and business ethics, so I bought Microsoft’s Zune. Here’s a video to show how sexy the Zune really is:

Overall, I really enjoy it so far. It has nearly all of the features the iPod has and it ended up being a lot cheaper (30GB Zune=8GB Ipod). Plus, the video screen is larger and iPods have no durability whatsoever. I bought one once, and it broke in two hours. I didn’t even drop it; it broke while I was walking up stairs. I can customize the background, get FM radio with subtitles and share songs with other Zunes using the same wireless network. Best of all, I won’t look like one of those hipster doofuses with the iPods.

(Perhaps I shouldn’t have bought it, given all of the student loans I have to start paying soon. Ugh, entry-level jobs do not pay well at all.)

Web finds:

Will Ferrell invades MSNBC show.

Best question in a chat ever (from the Wash. Post):

Photo with Hillary: Should Hillary let this one go, or could she rebut the picture with the Obama “slumlord” guy by having her campaign make a photo montage of the thousands of other people she and the president had their picture taking with during their White House years, with the implication being that the president and first lady have their picture taken with thousands of people?

WTF?

Is it 2009 yet?

Why are criminals so stupid hilarious?

This is why I love the newspaper business:

• Dec. 22: Feature story written about 23-year-old frog on his death bed.
• Jan. 7: Whiny treehugger college student writes letter to editor criticizes frog for not being environmentally friendly, despite living behind glass in a kitchen.
• Jan. 25: Frog croaks. Obituary of frog gets published. Funeral held. Everyone’s sad. (Besides that stupid beatnik!)

This post is SFW

Music Mondays II

I’m not in a very good mood right now, so I’ll save up my hostilities for tomorrow.

Here’s a great session with a band I’ve been getting into lately, Wilco. Wait for the dueling guitar action later in the song.

Wilco, “Impossible Germany,” A Basement

Today’s music video is LCD Soundsystem’s “Someone Great.” I think the video is really cool but wish they hadn’t chopped half of the song to make it MTV playable. Like they show music videos anyways.

LCD Soundsystem, “Someone Great”

I found a cover worthy of posting. It’s country singer (???) Charlotte Martin’s cover of the Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses.” Fast forward a minute or so through the boring interview, but make sure to hear how high her voice gets during those choruses. Is it just me or does she look ridiculously awkward when she sings?

Charlotte Martin, “Wild Horses” (Rolling Stones Cover), Good Morning Arizona, 2006

It’s the Terrorist Liberal America Haters, Charlie Brown!

Things I learned about Ann Coulter from reading her Uncyclopedia entry:

• She is “benevolent, understanding transsexual, has the ability to morph into a blood sucking Nazi Vampire with telekinetic powers, and looks like a damn zombie.”
• She is now the Supreme Chancellor of Pluto where she has 666 vacation homes, that number also being the one she carves into the decapitated heads of her victims.
• She spent most of her childhood living with grandfather Adolf Hitler.
• Ann once found a magic lamp with a genie that would grant her three wishes. Ann only wanted one wish, and that was to become a man. However, when the genie granted the wish, nothing happened. This was the catalyst in her campaign against women.
• Coulter graced Time Magazine’s cover. This marked the first time that a Time coverperson was unable to read her own article due to illiteracy.
• Coulter is is a card carrying member of the ACLU. Why do ACLU members always actually carry their cards, anyway?
• Ann Coulter is actually a former drag queen from Key West named Pudenda Shenanigans according to “Strap-On Veterans for Truth”
• Ann Coulter = Sauron Hitler Gacy Bateman Cartman Satan Dooku Lecter Megatron Joker Voldemort Venom Bowser Putnam O’Malley Olaf Xerxes Bin Laden Harkonnen Vader Terminator
• She has an infatuation with John Edwards.
• Has written Mein Kampf 2: Electric Bogaloo and # “101 Ways to Kill Puppies.”

Things I should have realized earlier.

1. Red Sox fans are annoying.
2. Patriots fans are annoying.
3. Celtics fans are annoying.
4. Oh, what the Hell, Bruins fans are annoying too.
5. Human resources departments are the most incompetent people in the business world. (Mine owes me $210 I’ll never see.)
6. I should really save quarters for laundry. (My room smells.)
7. I never know what kind of drunk I’ll be when I drink Rolling Rock.
8. Inter-office meetings are pointless.
9. I.T. guys are always pretentious.
10. There is no such thing as I.T. girls nor I.T. guys getting any girls.
11. Freelancing is aggravating. I wrote a story for an alumni magazine here, and the editors chopped it in half, replaced all the ’said’s with says (a pet-peeve) and watered down my writing so I can’t use it for any future clips. Thanks.
12. My voice sounds beautiful in the shower. (You should here my rendition of “The River”).
13. Your mom thinks I’m handsome.
14. All that staying up all night really screws you up in the A.M.
15. Dress-down Day is never worth anticipating for.
16. No matter how crappy your bicycle is, someone will steal it.
17. Toilets get disgusting quickly.
18. I can cook almost anything with a microwave.
19. Never give a girlfriend your T-shirt. Those girlfriends become ex-girlfriends and ex-girlfriends don’t give back T-shirts.

I’ll be in NEPA for the weekend so I won’t be blogging until Monday.

Juno (9.9/10)

Upon reading that Roger Ebert listed it as the No. 1 movies of the year in his Top Ten Movies of 2007, I was skeptical “Juno” was going to fall under the ill fate of being overly hyped. I’m sure it was going to be good, but better than “No Country for Old Men”? Better than “Into the Wild”?

After coming from theater, I reread Ebert’s reasoning:

Because of all the year’s films I responded to it most strongly. I tried out other titles in the No. 1 position, but my heart told me I had to be honest: This was my true love, and I could not be unfaithful. It is so hard to make a great comedy at all, and harder still to make one that is intelligent, quick, charming, moving and yes, very, very funny. Seeing “Juno” with an audience was to be reminded of unforgettable communal moviegoing experiences, when strangers are united in delight. It was light on its feet, involving the audience in love and care for its characters.

I’m not entirely yet in agreement that it’s the year’s best film; “Juno” goes above all preconceived expectations I had going to the cinema. “Juno” fits perfectly into the indie mold, but don’t let the references to bands no one has heard of or the ostracized protagonist steer you from enjoying it. The audience reaction to this movie was as absorbed and attentive as any I’ve been in since I went a field trip to go see “Titantic” in the 7th grade and the hormone-crazed boys got to see nudity on the big screen for the first time. (It was awesome.)

“Juno” is centered around a 16-year-old girl named Juno, not like the capital of Alaska, who becomes pregnant with an awkward stiff who goes to their Minnesotan high school. She decides she’s not the kind of person to abort a baby and attempts to deliver the baby but hand it off to a couple in need of a child.

As simple as the premise is, both main and supporting characters are as deep and genuine as are seen in comedies. It boasts a cast that’s stacked full of great actors and actresses, much more than your average indie flick. One of my favorite actresses, Ellen Page (“Hard Candy,” “X-Men: The Last Stand”), plays the lead role. Two actors — Michael Cera and Jason Bateman — from my favorite TV comedy of all-time (Arrested Development) star in it as well. Jennifer Garner (Alias), Allison Janney (West Wing), J.K. Simmons (“Spider Man”) and Rainn Wilson (The Office (U.S.)) are all well-known coming into this film.

“Juno” remains consistently funny throughout the film, yet it doesn’t sacrifice the plot and flow of the film. One of the reasons I feel most comedies fall flat on their faces is that they are funny for the first two-thirds, until the director and screenwriters realize they need to play catch-up and finish the plot so they make sense. (Which they don’t). This, in turn, yields vast portions of humorless dialogue. “Juno” doesn’t lose direction of its comedic value, and it shows well.

The other way most of today’s comedies fail, besides being unfunny or insufferably clichéd, is that the punch lines are written before the story takes form. This is why I couldn’t stand pregnancy-themed “Knocked Up” and “Superbad.” Most of the jokes aren’t inherent to the plot. For example, in “Superbad,” there is a scene where the fat kid confesses that when he was younger he had a habit of drawing penises. It adds nothing to the flow of the story, nor does it have to do with anything other than the vile writers thinking to themselves, “Ya know what’s funny? Penises. Chuckle. Chuckle. Chuckle.” I’d like to think that, for a change, “Juno” steers clear from this trend.

I agree it’s distasteful to knock other movies in a review and provide film criticism. My point is that everything good in “Juno” shows why nearly every true comedy in the past five years faltered.

Ellen Page is deserving of recognition for her role as Juno. She never goes past the point of being over the top. Yet she plays the part as if it were drama rather than a comedy.

The soundtrack is one thing to be rewarded. Comedies  are generally filled with songs that sound good in the moment. Instead, “Juno” uses them as a motif, of sorts. They are used transitionally and are soft-sounding.

Is it worthy of the high rating I gave it when there are others that have more cinematic value that I’d normally rate lower? Perhaps not. But it’s the first comedy that left such a strong lasting impression in a long time. In comparison, it is deserving.

Je t’aime Ottawa?

Because I can’t sleep at a reasonable hour, I’ve decided its Music Monday! We’ll see how well I do at keeping up with this or what the response is to my distinct taste of music. (Who am I kidding? I have no visitors). Anyways, I plan on posting a YouTube video of a music video, a live performance and, on rare occasions, a cover song.

Today, you get lucky because I’ve got two live performances. Actually, they are from the same concert. My favorite current band, the Arcade Fire, cameoed at a Bruce Springsteen, my all-time favorite musician, concert in Ottawa. I don’t have remorse for those Canadians who decided to skip the seven-song encore to beat traffic.

Bruce Springsteen & the Arcade Fire, State Trooper, Ottawa, Ont., Oct. 14, 2007. This is the first time The Boss played State Trooper live since the Born in the U.S.A. tour in 1985.

Bruce Springsteen & the Arcade Fire, Keep the Car Runnin’, Ottawa, Ont., Oct. 14, 2007. The shaky camera and holy shits are all I could find.

In honor of my insomnia, here’s the Shins’ video of “Sleeping Lessons.” I like the cinematography, color choice and the girl in it who looks like someone I once made out with at a party. Not too shabby on my behalf.

Werewolf bar mitzah

Why does it seem that every comedy television show I like is always tortured by low ratings? First, Arrested Development. Now, 30 Rock. I’ve been on a real 30 Rock kick lately — especially now that they referenced the Pennsylvania Coal Region several times on Thursday’s episode. Jack Donaghey (Alec Baldwin) and his girlfriend Senator C.C. (Tony Soprano’s wife) meet halfway in some town I’d never heard of. (Although, I found out the exterior scenes were shot in Middlebury, Vt.

Jack: Say what do you think they do for fun around here?
Miner: Smack around noisy out-of-towners. Also, we have a lovely doll museum.

Also from 30 Rock:

Speaking of werewolves and other fictional creatures, I found this story in The Stanford Daily that shows why Rep. Ron Paul is actually a zombie. My favorite part about it is the comments from Paultards:

This idiot is too stupid to understand real policies. Buying into Obama and Hiliary’s Hollywood politics regarding change. We’ve had 8 years of Clinton and look where it got us.
You should quit school (it isn’t helping) and go to Iraq. Tell a soldier to come home while your there.

All that money and still an idiot.

It is the American people that are the zombies. We have allowed our government to run amuck and now it is time to pay the mortgage. Open your eyes and wake up.

I guess only a true politician who tickles ears and does the opposite of what he claims to stand for will appease the hordes that love living in lies. I SUPPORT RON PAUL 100%. BY THE WAY IT’S BEEN PROVEN THAT DIEBOLD VOTING MACHINES SUPPOSEDLY MALFUNCTIONED AND RIPPED RON PAUL OFF…BY AT LEAST 7% AND POSSIBLY MUCH MORE. SEEMS WHENEVER THERE IS A SUPPOSED MALFUNCTION IT WORKS OUT IN FAVOR OF THE NEOCON WARMONGERS. THIS IS PROVEN , SO DON’T GO SAYING CRAP UNLESS YOU CAN BACK IT UP. DANIEL

Ron Paul is the second incarnation of the Lord Jesus Christ. Can’t you see that you stupid stupid Staff Chiffer?

Who are the real zombies? Paultards. Think about it. They’re everywhere. They’re blood thirsty. They both are against taxes. They are both against government. (I’m assuming zombies are against taxation nor can I see a Zombie Nation ever being anything but anarchist.) You can also escape Milwaukee, run over zombies with an armored truck, kill thousands with chainsaws and flee to a deserted island in the middle of the Great Lakes and still not get away from Paultards.

Only good thing about Paultards? They hate left-wing nutcase Wonkette as much as I do.

In sports news, my adopted Jacksonville Jaguars fell short of beating the irritant New England Patriots. (Boo!) New adopted team for the playoffs? Green Bay. But I don’t really like professional football — or even college, for that matter — so I could care less.

I’m not going to even go into my rant about the Mitchell Report, other than it should have been slugged as “Worst Investigation Ever, Or How Baseball Wasted 19 Months and Millions of Dollars On A Wild Goose Chase/Witch Hunt, Or Why You Never Put Anyone Affiliated With the Boston Red Sox In Charge of Anything.”McSweeney’s offers a hilarious parody of the Mitchell Report in its Lost Findings from the Mitchell Report. (It’s more credible than the real one.)

NEPA radio station Rock 107 released its listener-voted Best 1007 Songs of All-Time. It’s pathetic for the following reasons:

• No Beatles songs are listed in the Top 400 songs.
• AC/DC is not worthy of having the No. 1 slot. They are so horribly over-rated. Yet they tallied four of the top ten songs. WTF?
• Creed and Nickleback, two talentless groups, both place higher than any Bob Dylan or Bruce Springsteen song.
• Rolling Stone Magazine’s No. 1 song of all-time, Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone” listed at the last spot at No. 1007.
• My songs posted fairly poor: Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone” (1007), Bruce Springsteen’s “Thunder Road” (752), Bruce Springsteen’s “Jungleland” (991), The Band’s “The Weight” (unranked) and Tom Waits’ “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” (unranked).
• No Tom Waits.

I understand that it’s a user-nominated list, but maybe if Rock 107 didn’t play the same freakin’ Pink Floyd, AC/DC, Van Halen, Led Zeppelin songs over and over again, this list would have some legitimacy. After reading this, I’m taking a moral stand and leaving my radio dial set to 102.3 The Mountain.

I like reading really bad student newspaper columns. Usually, they are written but know-it-all students who either polarized to the far right or far left. Like this columnist from the Daily Northwestern, home of one of the best journalism programs in the country, who feels the need to inform us of all as to why we’re all stupid for playing Sudoku. I could understand why he hates Sudoku. Spelling and pronouncing his name, Prajwal Ciryam, is difficult enough.

The Ohio State University once again tops Northwestern. And everyone else when it comes to journalist integrity. Check out its student newspaper’s cover after the Buckeyes lost another national championship. Yikes.

I’m listening to: Bob Dylan’s “She Belongs to Me”

Charlie Wilson’s War (8.8/10)

The tagline reads “Based on a true story. You think we could make this up?”

That’s funny because had I showed up late for the movie and missed the “Based on a true story” screen before the film — like I had for “The Great Debaters” – I would thought “Charlie Wilson’s War” was an overblown attempt at rewriting history. Because we all thought that former President Ronald Reagan put an kibosh on the Soviet Union, heyna? Not so much.

The movie centers around reckless Rep. Charlie Wilson of Texas, played by Tom Hanks, and his quest to bring an end to the Soviet’s rule in Afghanistan. With the help of a C.I.A. operative (Phillip Seymour-Hoffman), Pakistan and his philanthropist f.w.b. (Julia Roberts), Charlie attempts to bring weapons to Afghans to take down Soviet helicopters without the U.S. media and congress ever knowing.

Obviously, Charlie Wilson’s War brought out the big guns with a stunning cast. Tom Hanks in the lead role is like having Jake Peavy pitching on the mound in the first game of the playoffs. It’s a lock, regardless of the fact that he plays a crooked politician. Phillip Seymour-Hoffman and Julia Roberts as the film’s supporting actor/actress is equal to having Derek Jeter batting ahead of Ryan Howard. Even the nine-hitter, Pam from The Office (U.S), isn’t to shabby. Throw in writer Aaron Sorkin (West Wing) and director Mike Nichols (The Graduate) and you basically have Joe Torre coaching and Billy Beane managing the team. Basically, we have a lineup that could take on the Big Red Machine. (Pun intended).

The film’s strong points definitely reside in its writing. Unless it gets upset by an indie flic, Sorkin should take home the Oscar for best screenplay. The dialogue is funny, concise and fast-paced — basically everything great that I remember from the early seasons of the West Wing.

Its direction doesn’t hit the viewer square in the face like other Golden Globe-nominated films did this year. However, it isn’t choppy and you forget about it. I liked Nichols’ choice to use grainy videos of the Soviets. I thought it was interesting that Nichols chose only to show the Afghans’ oppression from either third-party American media coverage or from the eyes of Charlie. I feel it gives us a closer connection with Charlie as he has a change of heart, seeing images that actually make him care about something for once in his political life. It ended up being beneficial in the end, since it would probably be too much, given that Afghanistan-centered “The Kite Runner” is also being shown in theaters.

It did come off as though, once Wilson conjures up this plan and gets the wheels moving, events begin happening too quickly. While I’m gracious of the movie ending well short of two hours, I’m left wondering if I’m missing something in the story. Were the missing parts intentional or just happenstance?

Overall, I felt Charlie Wilson’s War was lively and witty when it could easily have been drab and too far-fetching. It tells an unmentioned story of importance in American history, one that goes untold because of ignorance or naïveté.

We fucked up the endgame.

Visions of Hannah Montana

Third post of the morning. I might add I have chronic insomnia and still may have some jetlag.

I just wanted to comment on the Baltimore Sun’s ridiculous amount of coverage on the Hannah Montana concert. I opened today’s paper and saw a Page 1 story, a story and three reviews. Three? Holy mackeral, I would have thought it was Led Zeppelin playing at the One Mariner Arena rather than the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. It nearly had more Page 1 space than the Hillary and McCain stories.

The best was the Sun journalist who shadowed three concertgoers.

Megan, 13-year-old Alexi Spector, and 13-year-old Leah Litwak stared at four jean miniskirts laid out on Alexi’s bed. The skirts were virtually identical, differing just slightly in denim wash and fray pattern.

“This is hard,” said Alexi, whose mother, Lori, was hosting a preconcert party at her Forest Hill home.

“Really hard,” Leah said.

Thank you Baltimore Sun for an entertaining story for once. And thanks America.