Jon Stewart referenced Wilkes-Barre in yesterday’s episode of the Daily Show, regarding what the media would have been focused on if it hadn’t been for America’s favorite governor.

Did Jon Stewart mention America’s most lovable city because of Chelsea Clinton’s speech at Wilkes today or because he has an affinity for it after touring here several years ago? I’m gonna go with the latter.

Here’s Spitzer’s prostitute’s MySpace. Crappy music. Whether she sticks to a career in music or the flesh trade, you can be sure to bet that business is going to be having an unexpected booming.

John McCain has a great video on his Web site. As much as I enjoyed Obama’s song, this one tops it. Well done.

This is an interview of Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg at the South by Southwest Tech Conference in Texas. The interviewer, Businessweek columnist Sarah Lacy, interupts her interviewee, asks leading questions and makes up a story that isn’t entirely true. Then the audience begins to heckle her for the next five minutes.

When interviewed by the Austin American-Statesman after the explosion, Lacy blames the audience, not her inept journalism.

It’s been some time since I’ve had a Music Monday so I thought I’d treat y’all to a duet edition of your music fix. This week’s theme of duets is something I’ve been meaning to do for some time now.

It’s been only until recently that I’ve truly started enjoying some guy-girl duets. When I was very young, I used to listen to a lot of country music and all of the duets in that genre were just awful. It wasn’t nearly as bad, however, as the R&B duets that I heard on late ’90s/early 2000s Top 40 radio. Now, they are a staple on my Zune playlist. I was going to include a cover of Hank Williams’ “Ramblin’ Man” by Mark Lanegan and Isobel Campbell but the only video I could find was very NSFW and disturbing. (Youtube it if you dare).

She and Him, “Lonesome Town,” Los Angeles, Calif., January 6, 2008

As mentioned on an earlier post, She and Him is a composite of Zooey Deschanel, Will Ferrell’s love attraction in “Elf,” and singer-songwriter M. Ward. Their debut album, Volume One, comes out on March 18 and I’m excited for it.

Although M. Ward’s singing is very limited in She and Him, this still qualifies as a great duet. Zooey and M. cover Ricky Nelson’s “Lonesome Town” in this live set that taken away by Zooey’s powerful voice. The way she sings reminds me of a Janice Joplin you could take home to your mother. Regardless, it creates a great atmosphere. Check out some of their original work at the Playlist.

Dean & Britta, “Knives of Bavaria,” New York City/Paris Subway Station

I first was introduced to Dean Wareham and Britta Phillips through one of my favorite movies, “The Squid and the Whale.” Dean and Britta performed the entire soundtrack to that film, and it was lovely.

This video comes from one of my favorite Web sites these days, La Blogotheque. The La Blog stages live impromptu concerts around France with a single handheld camera, and they are great to watch. (In the Shins video, the cameraman nearly gets hit by a bus during the filming.)

This video to “Knives…” takes place in a subway. Before they could even begin playing, the intercom yells that there’s no video photography. Dean snaps back and they film the rest of the song through Britta’s legs.

Dean & Britta, “You Turn My Head Around”

I never know whether to spell Dean and Britta with an ampersand or not. Likewise, fans of Dean and Britta didn’t know where to find their first album in record stores since they were called Dean Wareham & Britta Phillips. Is it under D, W, B or P?

This is the official video to “You Turn My Head Around.” I post it for two reasons. One because I like the way it was filmed using Le Mond newspaper as a reoccurring theme. And two because I like seeing Britta wearing a skirt.

Emmylou Harris & The Band, “Evangeline” (from “The Last Waltz”)

Technically, this one may not exactly be a duet but I’m going to post it anyways. Most because it’s from a great movie starring one of my favorite bands, The Band, and my favorite female vocalist, Emmylou Harris. This bad boy was directed by Martin Scorsese in what I consider his best work. If I remember correctly, Emmylou Harris couldn’t attend The Last Waltz so this was filmed later in the studios. It’s remarkable how much Emmylou has changed physically since she collaborated with The Band. (Wait until the 2:30 mark for the actual song to begin in the video). If you’ve never seen The Last Waltz, you’re missing out on an amazing musical experience.

Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan, “Cold Water” (from BBC4) & “Volcanoes”

Damien Rice is an artist I oftentimes forget about because I burnt myself out listening to “O.” I must’ve listened to that and the Arcade Fire’s “Funeral” every day in the winter of 2004-05. I was originally going to put up the more poppy “Volcanoes” but after seeing this seven-minute long version, I couldn’t resist putting both up. “Cold Water” starts off very softly, almost like it’s being taken from a religious service. Unexpectedly, a sudden burst of drums comes out of nowhere and short-lived, intense vocals dies out to a single violin string. Although Damien Rice gets the billing, the real star in this song in the under-appreciated Lisa Hannigan, whose soprano voice carries the song.

“Volcanoes” shows how differently a duet Rice and Hannigan are compared to the others. Rice and Hannigan’s voices contrast well, to the point where neither one overtakes the other. There’s less passion in their songs than a duet like Dean & Britta.

Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová, “Fallin’ Slowly,” Sept. 10, 2007, N.Y.C.

After raving about the music in “Once” and giving it a 9.5/10 rating, I had to include it on this list; whereas it actually inspired me to make his the theme of Music Monday. This song is fantastic, and it deservingly received the Best Song award at the Grammys for it. “Fallin’ Slowly” composed the affliction both characters had for each other in “Once.” Of the many videos of this song on Youtube, I chose this one because it seems to have moved David Letterman at the end of their set. It seems he choked up a little bit. Who would have known him for a sentimentalist?

Merry LOST CHRISTMAS everyone. I thought “The Other Woman” was great. We learned a ton and there was plenty of action.

Things I liked about this episode:

1. The return of the whispers. I liked how it debunked the terrible theory of the whispers being from someone other than the Others.
2. The cat fight between Harper and Juliette.
3. We see a side from Benjamin that we hadn’t seen before — flirtacious and jealousy.
4. The ongoing power struggle between John and Ben.
5. Only women who conceive on the Island are prone to it. That clears the pregnancy question of whether the women are infected if they have sex on the Island or if they give birth on the Island.
6. This is the most assertive Claire has been ever during LOST.
7. My Widmore theory is correct. I don’t want to brag, but this is the first major theory I’ve called.
8. The fight between Juliette and Charlotte = hott.
9. Juliette looks great in a bikini.
10. “See you guys at dinner”

Questions:
1. Why does Juliette have so much makeup for her session? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wear it beforehand.
2. Are the Others plotting anything against Ben?
3. If Dan and Charlotte were just going to render the gas inert, why would they need the gas masks? In case he failed?
4. How did Benjamin Linus find out and how did he inform them? I think Jacob told Benjamin but how did Benjamin tell Harper if he was trapped in John Locke’s basement?
5. Where did Goodwin’s burns come from?
6. Is there anything else in Juliette’s file besides her affair with Goodwin that she wouldn’t want Jack to see?
7. Didn’t Mr. Smiley once tell Jack that Juliette and Ben had “history”? Did Juliette cheat on Benjamin with Goodwin?
8. How does Ben know about Widmore?
9. Does Penny know of her father’s intentions?
10. Is Benjamin making up the Ana Lucia story to trick Juliette? I think so.
11. Are Benjamin and Locke working towards a common good or is this all part of another one of Linus’ manipulations?
12. Was Benjamin also pissed at Ethan too?

Theories:

1. Harper was relaying her sessions with Juliette to Ben. How conniving of him.
2. Ben’s intentions were that Juliette was going to stay on the Island for a long time. Why else would he give her a house with two bedrooms and two bathrooms?
3. Jacob informed Benjamin of Charlotte and Daniel’s mission.
4. Goodwin’s burn came from mixing chemicals to create poisonous gasses.
5. I agree with Juliette that Ben intentionally sent Goodwin, knowing that there was a good chance he’d be killed.
6. Widmore wants to turn the Island into a vacation destination and make huge profits off it. Ben’s intentions are to protect the Island’s sanctity.
7. I think this one is obvious, but Widmore somehow found out about the Island via the notebook from the only remaining survivor of the Black Rock. There must have been directions on how to get to the Island. But how did Widmore first learn about the Island? I also think that the Widmore Corporation’s pregnancy tests (the brand on the one that sun uses) could play a part in it.
8. In an earlier flashback when Charles Widmore offers a job to Desmond, I think that Widmore was planning on sending Desmond on the freighter to the Island. But it wasn’t Desmond’s destiny to do so, so that’s sorta obsolete.
9. Who does Juliette remind Ben of? I’m pretty certain that’s it’s going to be Annie, the young girl whom Ben befriended when he first moved to the Island in “The Man Behind the Curtain.” The only problem with that is Annie had freckles, Juliette does not. Perhaps Juliette’s personality resembles Annie’s.

Other Widmore occurences on LOST:

• pregnancy tests Kate, Sun and Rachel use
• on Henry Gale’s hot air ballon
• on a billboard in Fire + Water

Get ready for the most implausible argument in election history: Hillary Clinton wants her votes to count in Michican’t(vote) and Florida.

I swear in the D.N.C. stusses out and hands over the Florida and Michigan to Hillary, despite being the only one to campaign in Florida and being the only real candidate on the ballot in Michigan, it would be the biggest joke since Hillary gave her victory speech for Michigan. “This campaign is on the right track. I beat a robotic Chris Dodd and the Not Hillary ticket by six points. Watch out Super Tuesday, here I come!”

What the frick-frack is this? The D.N.C. is going to tell my two least favorite states that they have no vote and then Indian give them back. Because the mean old lady said so. This is horses—. Don’t blame the D.N.C.; Michiganders should point fingers at their farking state legislatures for their meaningless primary. They knew the rules before they broke them, but they went ahead and pushed their primaries ahead because they wanted to make some money off the primary. Now, Pennsylvania is the new Iowa. It’s a great economic boost a state like Michigan could have used. Now? Not so much.

In other news, Ron Paul is coming to Towson, Md.. All four Paultards out there not already consumed by zombies get excited. For protection against the Ron Paul zombies, I’m bringing a machete (and a camera).

Courtesy of the Las Vegas Sun, the longest newspaper correction of all-time. Somebody has got to be fired for this.

I’ve been a little busy lately. Between learning the ins and outs of lacrosse, LOST and a stint in North Carolina, I haven’t had much time to blog. (Actually, I’ve been wasting my time wasting money.)

As previously mentioned before, I’m trying to learn the game of lacrosse for work. This is what I’ve learned:

Lacrosse is more boring than cricket.

For some God-forsaken reason, Marylanders eat up this sport. I can’t understand why. Maybe because Baltimoreans are soft, complain about 40-degree weather in February and cancel collegiate classes for “inclement weather” when there’s a slight less-than-an-inch dusting on the ground. (Side-rant: I’m sick of people using the word “inclement” to describe the weather. Inclement is defined as “severe in temper or action” and “unmerciful.” A light snow is not inclement. I don’t want to sound like the oldest 22-year-old on the planet, but my alma mater has canceled classes once since the late 1970s. As much as I love having the day off, if teachers can’t take driving in flurries, they should just shut down the Baltimore County Public School System as we speak. Hacks.) Obviously, Marylanders couldn’t stand bearing the cold temperatures of hockey arenas or the tremendous amount of violence it entails so it would seem nature they would flock to the dumbed-down version of the sport — lacrosse.

If you have never met a lacrosse fan or attended a lacrosse event, you’re missing out. These people are nuts! Of the 378 people who attended the d3 men’s lacrosse game, I can guarantee you that at least 70 percent of them brought their own foolish-looking lacrosse sticks. As if the coach is going to need to substitute a 48-year-old postal worker to fill in goal. Or one of the metal balls is going to fly into the grandstands and a stick is the only form of prevention of head injuries to the crowd. In baseball, it is unacceptable for fans no longer eligible for Little League to bring mitts to the game. It helps us distinguish the tools from the real fans. In lacrosse, it’s welcomed.

Oh, but it’s not lacrosse, man. If you’re in the know, you know it’s called lax. No, not the L.A. airport. Apparently adding an X to it makes it seem more extreme and less French. Substituting an X still doesn’t changing it from being lame.

But the game itself? Terribly boring. There’s all kinds of rules that are nonsensical. Penalty box without a box? Say what. Improper stick violations? Are they putting razor blades on the ends to slice opponents? This is ridiculous. The stats are completely ludicrous. You’d swear these fools would go Alexander Hamilton all over someone’s ass for more groundballs. They get a stat for picking up a ball. Why don’t we give stats for number of successful steps while we’re at it?

But the women’s game is worse. There’s no contact. The stats and the game itself is completely changed. Basically it’s the Arena Football version of real lacrosse: more scoring, uninterpretable rules, a giant net in the back and funny uniforms. Instead a jump ball or a faceoff, it has something called a draw control. I don’t know what that means but it involves putting the ball between two people and flipping it up in the air. Then it’s like watching raccoons fight over the last piece of three-day-old KFC chicken. I don’t know what that means either but, at least, it sounds cool.

Laxers are the most vile of creatures. If you don’t play the game, know the game and dream the game, you’re nothing, which is reminiscent to Maryland’s state motto, if I remember correctly. You don’t know that Johns Hopkins is unstoppable? You predicted UVA to beat Syracuse? “OMFG WHAT A N00b.” Listen, lacrosse isn’t a real sport. It’s a glorified attempt at making field hockey cool. Luckily, N.E.P.A. is too badass to fall for those tricks. We’ll stick to things that matter. I’d rather play hopscotch.

What can I do? I’m on my grind. I’m going to have so much money, my kids are going to play lacrosse. Lacrosse, blogosphere. Lacrosse.

Good stuff:

This stupid thing that only I find funny.

N.P.R. wants to know whom you are voting for and what you are listening to. Unfortunately, everyone who has ever listened to N.P.R. has voted for Michael Dukakis.

BARACK OBAMA IS YOUR NEW BICYCLE. All your base are belong to us!

Deadspin goes on this nice little rant about E.S.P.N.:

Sports fans like this? Really?

No, no they don’t. When you consider that “Greatest Highlight” has been on every “SportsCenter” for a month, it would be a rather resounding failure for it not to show up somewhere. In our view, this is the same reason “Who’s Now?” was the top searched term of 2007. We’ve discussed this before, but it warrants repeating:

ESPN is a corporation. As a corporation, their goal is to grow and make money. There is no crime in this; this is not an art project. But as most sports fans can tell you, even those of us who grow exhausted of the “Greatest Highlight” and “Who’s Now” antics watch ESPN all the time. There is no viable competitor; if you’re a sports fan who doesn’t watch ESPN, you’re really not much of a sports fan.

ESPN knows this. They know they have you; you aren’t going anywhere. Because of this, they do not need to cater to you. To grow, they must bring in new viewers, people who are more casual sports fans, people who are more drawn in by the shiny objects of “controversy” and Dick Vitale. They’re the ones who might think, hey … I AM curious about how the world of sports intersects with the world of Hollywood! They are the new viewers; they are the people who discovered Nirvana way too late and ruined everything. (Note: We are one of these people, at least when it comes to Nirvana.) They are exactly the type of people who keep Chris Berman in our faces every night. And they’re exactly the type of people who love the “Greatest Highlight;” people who, really, don’t actually like sports that much.

So that’s why, in our humble opinion, “Greatest Highlight” is the most searched term on ESPN.com. That, or the world is fucking collapsing all around us. Could be that.

Home Run Derby reports that the Rays are giving away cowbells this season. More cowbell!

Sean Salisbury = Canned.

And lastly….

Stuff white people like (best site currently on the web, other than my craplog.)

P.S. I’m writing a screenplay. I don’t expect anything to come of it. I just want to prove that I can write a better script than those no-talent assclowns who wrote “Rocky Balboa”

Call me impulsive but, after realizing I’ve only seen two of the films up for major awards at the Oscars this year, I decided to sign up for Blockbuster Online, which snail mails you movies to rent.

The first movie I rented was “Once,” which won Best Song. I often heard of Once being called a “modern musical.” I had no idea what that actually meant so I rented it anyway.

“Once” is a tiny little film about an Irish musician who becomes acquainted with a Czech immigrant in Dublin. The two of them consolidate to form a band and record an album. The ending may not be what the audience wants but, nevertheless, it is the right ending. “Once” grazes the border of being a love story but never crosses it; it just takes the free sample but never buys the product (or so to speak).

What’s so remarkable about “Once” is how beautiful it is shot. It was made on roughly $100,000 in 17 days. Despite that, some of the camera work, particularly the crane shot outside of the Girl’s apartment window, are better than any of the blockbusters you’ll find this coming summer.

The screenplay is overly simplistic. The two main characters don’t even have names. They are just known as Man and Girl. But as the Oscar indicated, the music tells most of the story where no dialogue exists.

“Once” is a small project but it embiggened by its great storytelling.

(Check out this Pitchfork interview with Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová, whom I took a liking to, about the unexpected story of “Once” and how Hollywood bastardized the DVD poster).

RtH says: Now, I won’t look down on you if you say you enjoyed a (modern) musical.

I could never really call myself much of a film buff, because I have never seen a Wes Anderson movie. This comes as a surprise to most since many of my favorite movies have been called Wes Anderson knockoffs.

Wes Anderson’s “The Darjeeling Limited” focuses on three brothers who embark on a journey through India via train one year after the passing of their father. The first thing that comes to mind is that all three have severe physiological issues: the older has control issues, the middle is a kleptomaniac and the youngest is undergoing a self-identity crisis. While we don’t know of their relationship with their deceased father, they were abandoned by their mother when they were young.

“The Darjeeling Limited” is a beautifully orchestrated telling of a broken-down family. Its use of colors throughout the movie is something to be desired and interpreted. I’m still not entirely sure that the train and the events that occurred on it were real.

It isn’t a conventional film, and I feel that throws things off. The plot changes frequently throughout the movie, but for the better. In that sense, it reminds me of Asian films, fittingly it is set in India, since there’s never two or three paths the brothers could take.

I strongly recommend watching the “Hotel Chevalier” short (on the D.V.D. options) before “The Darjeeling Limited.” Not because it features a nude Natalie Portman (I like) but because the ending of Darjeeling makes a lot more sense with it.

RtH says: Yeah! Yeah!

Even though I did not Blockbuster it, I’m going to review “Rocky Balboa” because I had the misfortune of watching it twice in ten days on consecutive business trips.

It’s a shame they had to bastardize the Rocky series. Four was enough. Five killed it. Balboa unearthed it from the dead and stabbed it in the throat with a stake.

“Rocky Balboa” is the comeback story of the aging Rocky. E.S.P.N., as it always does, stages a mock simulated fight between the Italian Stallion and Mason “The Line” Dixon, the current heavyweight champion of the world. Adrienne’s dead. Rocky’s kid is a yuppie. Rocky owns a bar. I don’t need to preface the prior five Rockys.

The whole movie just doesn’t do anything. It’s a blatant attempt to recreate the first Rocky film, but it fails when the filmmakers realize they have no more story ideas. Same Philadelphia montage introduction. The fight announcement seems all too familiar to the Carl Weathers’ one in ‘76. Same Philadelphia training sequence. Even the fight between The Line and The Stallion seems to emulate the original outcome.

Even still, that wouldn’t be so bad. The movie dies around the subplot involving the little girl who Rocky encountered in the original. For half of the film, the audience is led to believe that Rocky is going to train Steps to fight. Au contraire. Rocky decides he is going to fight himself. Since Rocky isn’t going to take Steps under his wing, the Steps/Steps’ mom-Rocky relationship becomes mind-boggling. Why is Rocky so interested in helping her? There’s no romantic interest involved. I guess they just needed some annoying tramp to cry over Rocky during the match now that Adrienne is dead.

Granted that the Rocky series is going to inherent piss-poor dialogue, “Rocky Balboa” goes to another level. I’ve seen this movie twice in the past week and a half. The scene between the gangster girl at the bar and Rocky makes me wish my Zune had a higher volume than 20. They couldn’t think of any better lines for the girl to yell over and over again.

“You don’t know me?” Oh “Rocky Balboa,” I wish I hardly knew thee.

RtH says: “Save yourself the trouble and rent the ‘76 version.

In response to this, I wrote a letter to the editor under a pseudonym. Because I don’t want any backlash from my employer via someone Googling his or her way here, I’m editing every mention of the actual school name.

To be honest, I had to do a double take.

After glancing over the “SGA moves to explore replacing G#$@#!’s mascot” (Feb. 15, 2008) article, I thought I accidentally picked up The Onion. The spoof, despite being amusing, was to the contrary. If only the popular parody newspaper was displayed on P—-stone’s newspaper racks rather than The Q@#!#(@@!, I might not feel as disillusioned.

But then I remembered this is G#$@#! College, where logic and reason go to die. No, this is no joke; G#$@#!’s Student Government Association has not only decided to give any half-witted plebeian the right to introduce legislation, but to also haplessly look into the possibility of changing the mascot from our beloved gopher to its ugly, red-headed step-cousin twice-removed – the groundhog. Bureaucracy, even on the collegiate level, reigns supreme once again. (Everybody panic.)

I find it to be hilarious that the rationale behind the proposed mascot change isn’t that Mortimer the G#$@#! is feeble in comparison to the mighty Eagles, of Juanita College, or the hard-fought Crusaders, of Susquehanna University; rather it’s a supposed advancement of the college’s endeavors toward environmental sustainability. (Divertingly, I also find the so-called environmental sustainability goals to be hypocritical in behalf of both the college and students; whereas I hear little uproar from anyone about the shortage of trashcans in residence halls, lack of plastic and glass recycling or the disappearance of deer from the woods.)

Would someone tell me how this happened? G#$@#! used to be a prestigious school that was repeatedly lauded by the New York Times in the 1980s before going co-ed. Now, it boasts an illuminated, beatnik student population with a dismal retention rate and a governing body whose No. 1 concern is making sure that Marylanders know it’s Punxsutawney Phil who is dancing his way all over the Baltimore Municipal Golf Course, not Winnie the Pooh’s whistling cohort. In next week’s agenda, SGA will remind us that we’ve been wrong in calling our school colors ‘blue and yellow’ and that we must be steadfast in rooting for the ‘cornflower and cadmium lemon.’

Have some pity for poor Mortimer. I’m sure he and the rest of the gophers had no choice to evacuate the Towson area. It is clear that the indigenous, Division I tiger species clearly outnumbered the gophers by a rate of 19-to-1 in this town, taking away all available parking spaces, cost-efficient apartments and barstools. Sure, the gophers can easily be replaced by the brutish groundhogs but, in all reality, it does not stance a chance of competing in this Darwinesque habitat with the tigers of Towson. How’s that for environmental sustainability?

Other than being a commonality that students can associate themselves with, the primary reason for collegiate nicknames derives from athletics. Now, with participation already at an embarrassing rate – women’s soccer finished with nine players; women’s basketball boasts eight Gophers; women’s lacrosse’s roster consists of 13 laxers – how difficult is it going to be to recruit athletes to a school which had to change its mascot because it wasn’t “eco-friendly.” Our reputation for being a non-athletic, artsy college would be pushed up to the nth degree. For all the fuss made about environmental awareness, you’d think our nickname would be the Hummers, Cyanide Fishers, or the ever-popular G#$@#! College Acid Mine Drainage.

While we’re on the topic of changing our nickname, why don’t we go the next level? Although they are native to the Old Line State, groundhogs benefit from deforestation. Environmental-friendly G#$@#! College presumably would be against the cutting down of Baltimore County’s woodsland that makes way for the ticky-tacky suburban sprawlers, which inevitably lures more groundhogs into our area. Therefore, groundhogs are obtrusive, and we must find a nickname that better suits the college. I suggest the following eco-friendly names: Veggies, Priuses, Greenpeace or the G#$@#! College Al Gores.

Like “Groundhog Day,” this kind of thing seems to be an everyday occurrence. I don’t need to see my shadow to know that Jared M89#&#!s’ resolution is another waste of time and a complete non-issue. SGA’s affirmation and the subsequent exploratory committee are even more of an embarrassment to itself and the school.

While it may not be The Onion, the issue at hand is laughable. Perhaps last issue’s story may be better suited for another publication – Sports Illustrated’s “This Week’s Sign of Apocalypse.”

Happy Presidents Day. As we honor our country’s greatest leaders, let’s show some appreciation through use of song in this week’s Music Monday. (Do yourself a favor and watch the Truman video. It’s glorious.)

First, the greatest Presidential song about every president of the U.S.A. (And also great for learnin’ ‘em). From the cartoon “Animaniacs”:

“Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. ” – President Richard M. Nixon

“America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.” – President Harry S. Truman

“A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.” – President John F. Kennedy

““Let’s face it, my presence on this stage is pretty unlikely.” – Sen. Barack Obama